Merry Christmas from Jeff, DW, Jason and the crew of HopeNet Radio! At the core of Christmas is this thing called joy. Yet, why do so many people act joyless during Christmastime? This week’s episode is all about experiencing true joy this year. Joy is an attitude that constantly needs maintenance.
Unilateral listening is all about hearing what you want to hear without actually listening to the other person. We’ve all done it. Someone is talking to you about something and all you can think of is what you’re going to say next. You’re not actually listening. You’re just thinking…
It’s All About Me
Self-explanatory. The truth is that it’s not all about you. But you already knew that…
The Rules Don’t Apply
Nothing frustrates leaders more than having someone under them acting in a way in which they think they can do or say what they want when they want. This generally doesn’t end well for the person who is stuck in this mindset.
Turning Concerns into Criticisms
This one can be tricky. See if you can catch the difference between the two:
Concerns are statements that focus on the qualities which are arising in the relationship which we don’t like or find harmful. “When you promise to take out the trash and then don’t do so, it makes it hard for me to trust you and I don’t feel supported in caring for this household.”
Criticisms are statements that focus on the choices the other is making which we don’t like. “When you don’t take out the trash as you said you would you are being immature, selfish, and lazy.”
Blaming Outcomes on Anyone Other Than You
The other is like it…
Blaming Others for How I Feel
Until you begin to take responsibility for your shortcomings and mistakes, you will constantly be miserable. Blame-shifting is not fair to yourself or to others.
Each of these attitudes robs us of our joy. It’s so, so, so easy to fall into them because by nature we’re selfish. You and I want it to be about us all the time. Joy comes when we take focus off of me and puts it on God.
Next week, we’ll spend more time on the adjustments we must make to be joyful.
Check this out!
With all the negative news about police officers lately, we thought this was a great story that will warm your heart. This is truly what living joyfully is all about.
On this week’s edition of HopeNet Radio, Kristen returns to talk about things she wishes her parents knew before making a destructive decision that nearly cost her life. Her book, Life In Spite of Me, can be found here.
1. I also wish they had known more about depression, how common it can be, as well as the triggers, the signs, and how easy it is to fall into a depression.
2. That what I needed more than anything was a growing, thriving, relationship with the God who made me.
3. That the youth group they’d brought me to was only a place to have fun and I needed so much more.
4. That I had been raped.
5. That I could hardly understand what I was feeling, or how to put it into words and that asking me questions might have been helpful.
6. That even though they’d taken me to a Christian Counselor she never gave me any spiritual direction or encouragement.
7. That I didn’t really like drinking, sneaking out, smoking and doing all the things I wasn’t supposed to be doing.
8. That one of the reasons I didn’t talk to them more was because I was afraid of punishments, especially with my friends because they’re what were keeping me holding on.
9. That I wanted to make them proud, not worry them.
10. That I was trying to protect them too.
11. That being in school basically complicated my issues. I think it would have helped me if I would have been taken out and put in an intense counseling program.
12. That our family needed to be centered on Christ.
13. That the church we were in was dead and that God wanted so much more for all of us.
14. I also wish they had known the power of God, the Bible, Jesus and the Holy Spirit.
15. That I needed someone who knew God pouring into me.
Let your son know you love him unconditionally. Emphasize that he does not need to be good, successful, or smart for you to love him.
2. I Respect You
Your son deserves respect too. You will teach your son a lot about respecting other people’s values and boundaries, when you show him respect. Mutual respect is key to a strong relationship with your son.
3. I’m Here For You
Be supportive in his decisions, as long as it is not something that will cause him harm. There are many adults living with resentment and regret because their parents did not support their dreams and goals.
4. I Am Listening
Listen without judgement or criticism. Listen with out self-referencing. You don’t need to relate or like what he is saying. Just listen.
5. You Brighten My Day!
Let your son know how much joy he brings into your life. Show him that he is a blessing.
6. I Believe in You
Tell him what unique qualities you admire. Support his strengths, dreams and goals.
7. Tell Me More
Be inquisitive in a good way. Show enthusiasm when he is speaking. Use your tone and body language to show you are paying attention. Be curious about what he is saying.
8. I Want To Understand
Let your son know when you do not understand what he is going through. Ask him to explain and elaborate. Don’t jump to conclusions and attack his character.
9. Thank You!
Show gratitude for the little things. Thank him for helping out.
10. Let Me Help You
Your son may not always ask for help, even if he needs it. If your son needs help, be there with your love and encouragement.
