#118: Fire Tenders Needed

by Jeff | Feb 14, 2016

Who’s on this episode?

Jeff Strommen @jstrommen | Dave Wager @wagerdaw

Episodes in this series: BAM Part 1 | BAM Part 2 | BAM Part 3 | BAM Part 4

Building an atmosphere of mentoring involves the things we say and do. On this episode, Jeff and Dave discuss the opportunity mentors can use to “fire up” those around them. A great mentor is like a fire tender. They know how to make sure the fire doesn’t become destructive or flame out. Like a fire is dynamic, so is mentoring. There are ups that downs. There are times where the fire is steady and it doesn’t need more wood or oxygen. There are times when the fire needs more or less of those things depending on the situation.

One specific tool mentors use is their words. What we say, when we say it and how we say it matters. And we get to control the words we use! Listen in as Jeff and Dave continue this series of building an atmosphere of mentoring.

Become A Coach | One area that needs mentors is on our live coaching lines. Are you 18+? Want to give a young person a few hours a week simply by being online and available? Check out our coaching page to learn about becoming a coach with our partner, Groundwire.net.

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Show Notes

DW. | Sabbath

The idea: Sabbath was given to us not just as a day of rest like many believe, but also as a day of relationship. This day was established to be one where families could intentionally instill value into one another. And they did this in some significant ways. Husbands would honor their wives in front of the group. By honoring, they would recommit their desire to love them and serve them. Maybe they would give gifts or do something that would show honor to them. Likewise, the parents would bless their kids. They would speak life over them, affirming them and their qualities or personal abilities.

Affirmation. Honor. Significant, meaningful time clear of distractions and “busyness”. These are the keys to making this day meaningful. What would happen if families used this example as a template for a couple hours 1 day a week? Would our family life be different today? Would communities be different? Will our country change?

How do we encourage as mentors?

1. Words. Affirm the truth and debunk myths or lies they believe about themselves or others. Genuine, honest feedback is valuable to anyone. It doesn’t mean you’ll always like what they have to say. But the last thing any of us need are more empty words or empty promises. Let’s raise the expectation that we can all be honest and truthful, even if it hurts me or the other person’s feelings. Let’s create a culture of honesty, honor, generosity, and humility.
2. No words. Active listening can be a greater encouragement to someone. Remember, not everyone coming to you with an issue is looking for you to solve it.
3. Acts of generosity. This is done in a variety of ways using our time, talent or treasure. Generous people are people you want to be around.

What other ways can you think of?

The difference between empty flattery and solid encouragement