by Jeff | Mar 22, 2015
Once upon a time, in a far away land lived ladies and gentlemen. They were distinctly different from the boys and girls just turning 30 today. Might not be too far off from a future fairytale. But seriously, there are days that I wonder: what happened to raising men to be gentle and strong, and women to be pure and compassionate? Sarah Boes from More Precious Than Rubies (MPTR) is back with Jeff, DW and Jason to talk about this shift and give encouragement to the ones who feel that they might be the last lady or gentleman out there. This is for you! Let us know you’re out there on the TweetBack.
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Does too much praise turn kids into narcissists?
A recent study suggests it. Jeff and DW think they’re on to something. Do you think we should praise people for doing things they should do anyway – like brush their teeth? Somewhere along the way, we’ve learned to be needed instead of wanted. Being needed and being wanted are pretty different things. There are different rules
[Tweet “We always praised children thinking that it would make them more confident. #HNRTB”]
[Tweet “Ladies and gentlemen are not self-centered. #HNRTB”]
Links discussed
More Precious Than Rubies
A new study from The Ohio State University suggests that constant – and perhaps undue – praise for our kids’ tiniest accomplishments, or non-accomplishments, may have the unintended side-effect of creating an over-inflated ego. And this can have serious consequences both in childhood and later on in life. Read more
What are the characteristics of a gentleman? Chivalrous, courteous, honorable, realistic, polite, gallant, respectful, noble, and decent. Read more
Becoming a Proverbs 31 woman
by Jeff | Jul 25, 2014
1. I Love You, No Matter What
Let your son know you love him unconditionally. Emphasize that he does not need to be good, successful, or smart for you to love him.
2. I Respect You
Your son deserves respect too. You will teach your son a lot about respecting other people’s values and boundaries, when you show him respect. Mutual respect is key to a strong relationship with your son.
3. I’m Here For You
Be supportive in his decisions, as long as it is not something that will cause him harm. There are many adults living with resentment and regret because their parents did not support their dreams and goals.
4. I Am Listening
Listen without judgement or criticism. Listen with out self-referencing. You don’t need to relate or like what he is saying. Just listen.
5. You Brighten My Day!
Let your son know how much joy he brings into your life. Show him that he is a blessing.
6. I Believe in You
Tell him what unique qualities you admire. Support his strengths, dreams and goals.
7. Tell Me More
Be inquisitive in a good way. Show enthusiasm when he is speaking. Use your tone and body language to show you are paying attention. Be curious about what he is saying.
8. I Want To Understand
Let your son know when you do not understand what he is going through. Ask him to explain and elaborate. Don’t jump to conclusions and attack his character.
9. Thank You!
Show gratitude for the little things. Thank him for helping out.
10. Let Me Help You
Your son may not always ask for help, even if he needs it. If your son needs help, be there with your love and encouragement.
What are some others?
Original post: Raising Great Men
by Jeff | Sep 4, 2013
Reputation (n.) – the beliefs or opinions that are generally held about someone or something. A widespread belief that someone or something has a particular habit or characteristic. Synonyms: name, good name, character, repute, standing, stature, status, position, renown, esteem, prestige.
It may be the most important thing you have. Your reputation. What do people know you for? What qualities define you or your personality? I’m not saying you need to be overly concerned about what others think of you. People’s opinions of you change daily. What’s more important is how pleased God is with your character. Are you living like you say you are? Are you concerned about the things that matter to God? If so, great! If not, ask yourself why.
Choose a good reputation over great riches; being held in high esteem is better than silver or gold.
Here are five ways you can build and keep a good name for yourself
1. Respect yourself and others.
Treat others with the same respect and dignity the way you want to be treated. Even if they don’t return the respect, you can always take the high road. Choosing to respect someone who you feel doesn’t deserve your respect will speak volumes about your character to your peers and those around you. It’s also really important that you respect yourself. Take responsibility for your body, mind and soul. Don’t allow someone or something to rule any one of those areas other than God. You are precious to God.
2. Think of yourself less than you think of others.
This isn’t the same as thinking that you’re less than someone else. What this means is to take your eyes off of you once in a while to notice someone’s needs and dreams. This is true humility. Any person who can help someone else find their God-given purpose and value is a person to be treasured.
3. Watch your tongue.
This seems rather obvious, but more often than not, we find ourselves in discord with friends over something we said to them or about them. The Bible speaks extensively on this topic.
4. Don’t trust your feelings
I need to repeat that. Don’t trust your feelings. Our feelings are a good barometer that we’re alive, but they’re not trustworthy. Why? I’m glad you asked. Have you ever gone grocery shopping on an empty stomach? Or perhaps you’ve had a bad day at school and you took out your discontent on your brother or sister, or worse yet, your dog? Yeah? Feelings or emotions are often self-serving because people are ultimately selfish. Here’s how we can live for God, not our feelings.
5. Get a mentor.
The value of an outside perspective who can lend experience and true wisdom is priceless. This is why I believe students need to be involved in a youth group. Finding a mentor can be hard. Finding a mentor who knows what the Bible says can be even tougher. Not every person should seek to be a mentor, but every person should have a mentor. This is yet another reason we believe in the Online Crisis Chatline partnership with Groundwire. In fact, if you are over 18 and are interested in mentoring, consider becoming an Online Spiritual Coach. You can find information here.
BONUS: Honesty.
As Ben Franklin once said, “Honesty is the best policy.” Be honest and truthful, even when it may hurt your reputation. Your honesty will mean more than any number of lies you could amount to cover a wrong. Think about it.
What other ways can you think of?
