If you’re a cutter, you know what it’s like to feel the pain welling up inside you. It feels like any second you’re going to explode. In the past you may have cried, gotten angry, accused, complied, or blamed yourself, but now you cut. You’ve prayed, asking God to change things, to make you want to stop cutting, but you feel as if your prayers stopped at the ceiling. You don’t pray anymore.
Unlike the emotional pain, you control the physical pain created by cutting. You know it’s not normal to get relief by cutting, but it does bring release and nothing else seems to work. You reason, “Why would I give it up when nothing else works?” In your heart however, you know that this doesn’t work either. You are having to cut deeper and deeper, more and more frequently.